


coffee's for losers

by dreamiesficfest, karone (nekrateholic)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - University, Coffee Shops, M/M, dowoo if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 02:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18540241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiesficfest/pseuds/dreamiesficfest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/karone
Summary: Jeno has a variety of feelings regarding coffee. And Jaemin. Jaemin has, well, coffee. Things work out, somehow.





	coffee's for losers

**Author's Note:**

> this fic grew a life of its own, i swear. i hope you like it anyway, dear prompter ♥  
> for more of the lovely dreamies' fics in this fest~  
> [wave one (up to 4k)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1309415)  
> [second wave (4-10k)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1331624)  
> [third wave (over 10k)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1351591)
> 
>  
> 
> title is vaguelly inspired from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y5epxSzh3g) because apparently i've lived a lie

Jeno has a secret.

It's not a very well kept one, as Renjun often likes to point out, but it's his secret nonetheless.

The secret's name is Na Jaemin.

It's not like having a thing for Na Jaemin is something to be ashamed of - far from it, really. The entire student body had had a crush on Jaemin at one point, back in high school. Hell, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Renjun had some sort of a support group about it back in their first year of high school.

They’re not in high school anymore but Jeno imagines university life is not all that different than the high school one, at least where Jaemin’s concerned. They ended up going to different universities but some of Jeno’s classmates (Renjun included) are going to Jaemin’s uni, too. Rumor has it, he still has everyone at his feet within minutes of meeting them. There’s apparently still a flock of girls that sigh dreamily each time he passes, too. University is nothing like high school and yet, somehow it’s all the same.

So having a thing for Na Jaemin is not uncommon, not at all.

It's just that Jeno never really got over it.

“You’re staring off into space again,” Donghyuck points out, idly picking at the soggy rice in his plate.

Jeno startles, his fork clattering to the table. He looks up guiltily. You see, Jeno was definitely _not_ thinking about that one time Jaemin showed up with pastel pink hair in high school. It broke at least three school regulations but even still, it took three days before anyone made a comment about it. He can't really blame them, though. Jaemin looked _amazing._

"And again," Renjun adds, rolling his eyes. Jeno shrinks in his seat. He feels a bit bad, honestly, because Renjun sacrificed his precious sleep time on a day he has a late afternoon class only to come all the way from his campus and have lunch for them. His words.

So, Jeno feels a bit bad but in the end - Renjun goes to the same uni as Jaemin. It’s a totally logical train of thought.

“Really though,” Donghyuck says, “For someone who claims to have this huge secret,” the air quotes are obnoxiously obvious, and this time Jeno shrinks for an entirely different reason. His friends are the _worst._

“You don’t know what I was thinking about,” Jeno mumbles, halfway under the table at this point.

Donghyuck just sighs. “You have a terrible poker face, did you know that?” He seems to finally give up on the rice because he pushes it in Jeno’s direction.

Never one to turn down free food, even if it’s the shitty cafeteria one, Jeno happily takes it. “I don’t know what you mean,” he says, mouth full at rice, and ignores the way both Donghyuck and Renjun’s expressions slip into immense disgust.

They’re both too busy judging Jeno to continue teasing, though, so who’s the real winner here?

*

Not Jeno, that’s who.

The realization hits him like a truck - or maybe a freight train? Something really, really heavy, that’s for sure. There’s this new hole-in-the-wall café that opened a block from campus and, of course, Doyoung wants to try it. Which means, Doyoung wants Jeno to go get him coffee, all the way _out of_ campus. Because apparently being adopted by a senior is nothing but a glorified coffee slave position. Or just a regular slave, honestly.

But back to the problem at hand - after Jeno has walked through their entire (admittedly, not very big) campus, along the block separating it from the café; after he’s slammed the door open a little too hard, too busy thinking about the walking injustice that is Kim Doyoung, Jeno is finally, finally hit with the realization.

That he’s royally, epically, tragically fucked.

Because 1. Doyoung’s made him visit enough cafés to know this is exactly the type that’ll make the coffee just how he likes it which means Jeno will be forced to come way too often. But mostly-

Mostly, because apparently, Na Jaemin looks amazing in an apron.

(Jeno has never pegged himself as someone who’s into men in aprons. But this is Jaemin in an apron. Hell, even hemp sacks would be something Jeno’s into if it were Jaemin to wear them. And- and honestly, Renjun and Donghyuck should never, ever know about this. Even though they probably already do.)

Jeno considers just walking straight out that door, maybe lying to Doyoung. The café suddenly closed, all the employees take super long lunch breaks at the same time, they ran out of coffee? All very valid explanations. Except, Doyoung would probably know the truth somehow, and they’d never find Jeno’s body.

 _You’re so dramatic,_ a voice suspiciously like Renjun’s mutters in his head and Jeno idly wonders when the hell did he acquire a Renjun-inner voice. And how does he get rid of it?

The voice is right, though, because as much as Jeno complains, Doyoung would probably cut off a limb before he makes Jeno actually feel bad. Even if the guilt trips him into coffee runs on the daily.

And… oh.

It seems Jeno has been spotted somewhere in the midst of his internal monologue because Jaemin is smiling at him (oh god, the smile) and also _waving._

Positivity is key, Jeno tells himself, even if his entire being is screaming internally. At least he can maybe talk to Jaemin? He can totally force himself to be a semi-decent human being at the threat of Doyoung’s caffeine-deprived wrath.

So he struts in as casually as possible (which is probably not casual at all, damn it, was this table always here?) and tells Jaemin, “Hi. One iced americano please.”

“Hi there,” Jaemin beams at him and Jeno has to physically restrain himself to shield his eyes. “Jeno, right?” Jaemin continues as he gets behind the giant coffee machine. “I’m pretty sure we went to the same high school.”

“It’s possible,” Jeno squeaks out. They were not in the same class but they _were_ in the same year. Jeno’s pretty sure they’ve even been introduced at some point, way back in freshman year. He didn’t expect Jaemin to remember him, though. Panicking he did expect because that’s what he does, but now he just looks like an asshole. And because no one can ruin Jeno’s life better than Jeno himself, he goes on to say, “It’s weird that you’d remember me of all people, though. I wasn’t very memorable.”

“I beg to differ,” Jaemin huffs. “You’re kind of hard to forget, actually. Anyway,” he hurries to add. “I didn’t peg you for an americano person, though.”

Jeno opens his mouth to say that - no, he’s really not, except. Except suddenly, with vivid clarity, a scene plays in his mind. Senior year of high school, lunch hour, Zhong Chenle exclaiming - too loud - about how Jaemin drinks way too much coffee, how his insides will shrivel up and he’ll die an untimely death because he can’t stop drinking this hell liquid. Chenle’s words.

And then... then Jaemin smiled, this bright, brilliant grin that still haunts Jeno's dreams. He'd smiled and said, "I just like it, sue me."

Jeno blinks against the force of Jaemin’s smile in real life, not as bright as the one from his memory but bright enough to hurt anyway. Before he can consider all the consequences (not like he would anyway-) he blurts out, “I love it.”

Jaemin has just finished the drink. He places it on the counter, eyebrows up in his lovely, lovely fringe. “Really?”

"Really," Jeno confirms with steely determination. And then - because he's stupid, that's the only reasonable explanation - then, he downs the entire cup - large, black like a night in hell and oh god, _bitter._

The thing is, one of the first things you learn as a friend of Lee Jeno is that in his opinion, coffee might as well be the reason the world will end. His hatred for caffeine is the main reason Doyoung uses him as a coffee slave, too. Out of all the freshmen he's adopted, Jeno is the least likely to steal his drinks and/or pester him to buy one for himself too. (This has to do with the hero-worship situation Jeno's got going on with Doyoung just as much as his coffee-related feelings, but Doyoung doesn't need to know that.)

Jeno can feel a few stray tears well up in his eyes as the coffee burns its way down his throat. He blinks them away as fast as he can, then aims his best smile at Jaemin. Considering the situation, it’s not the greatest he’s capable at. For his part, Jaemin looks only slightly puzzled.

“Okay,” Jaemin says, slowly. “I guess you like coffee now.”

“I do!” Jeno squeaks. The lunch he had earlier attempts to crawl its way right back up his throat. “Coffee is lovely.”

“Right.” Jaemin mumbles, still somewhat puzzled. Jeno feels like an idiot but hey - at least his stomach seems to have accepted its faith and he no longer feels like dying right here on the grey tiles of this café.

He aims another smile at Jaemin, a more genuine one this time. Jaemin smiles back and it’s The Smile and - honestly, Jeno is ready to down a whole bucket of americanos if it means he gets to see _that_ again.

Maybe not right away, though.

*

Jeno carefully omits what he’s taken to calling The Coffee Incident when he recalls the story to Donghyuck and Renjun. He also omits the fifteen-minute speech about friendship and responsibilities Doyoung had given him upon seeing him back on campus and coffee-less.

What he doesn’t omit is, “Listen, it’s totally not my fault, he’s just so _cute.”_

"I'm aware, I see him every day." Renjun sighs for what feels like the tenth time. It could very well be.

"Too bad," Donghyuck says, stirring some sugar into his latte. "You could've bonded over coffee if you weren't so narrow-minded."

"Excuse you-" Jeno starts, ready to launch into his favorite speech about how coffee comes from hell and so does everyone who drinks it. Except for Jaemin, of course. Which brings him to the question at hand. "This is a brilliant idea."

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “I mean, I know. But didn’t you say quote-unquote _I will never ever follow any of your ridiculous plans ever again?”_

“You did,” Renjun agrees, even though no one asked him.

Jeno frowns at both of them. “You made me write him a poem.” He waves off Donghyuck’s indignant _I didn’t expect you to actually try and give it to him without supervision._ “The facts are, the poem ended up in Renjun’s locker. That conversation still haunts my nightmares.”

Renjun cringes. He'd been new back then and somewhat flattered probably. The level of awkwardness present when Jeno had to explain what actually happened is one he hasn't been able to achieve once in the two years that followed. Not that he wants to. Hell no.

“We both got a friend out of it.” Donghyuck points out.

“Nightmares,” Jeno hisses.

Renjun shrugs. “I’ll have to agree on that one, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck looks at each of them, eyes full of betrayal. “My ideas are awesome and you both suck.”

"You wanted me to fill his locker with origami hearts," Jeno says flatly.

“It would’ve been a great, romantic gesture!” Donghyuck exclaims, clutching at his cup. Still a sore spot, then. Jeno feels a bit bad - part of him regrets he didn’t agree back in the day. Donghyuck has amazing ideas a lot of the time, especially when it doesn’t concern their respective love lives. Except he keeps forgetting regular, non-Donghyuck human beings actually have a sense of shame.

These are all thoughts Donghyuck will never know about, though. Jeno doesn’t feel _that_ bad.

“Anyway,” he says, waving off the argument, even if Donghyuck is still pouting. “I can totally pretend to like coffee so we have something to talk.”

“Isn’t that kind of creepy, though?” Renjun asks, subtly moving closer to Donghyuck. The effect is instant - the pout lessens into a mild frown and then - nothing. Huang Renjun is truly magic.

Jeno shrugs. “I’m not planning to trick him into marriage. I just want a reason to start up a conversation. _Not_ about coffee. It won’t even be a real lie!”

Except it will be because he already told Jaemin he likes coffee. It already _is_ a lie.

Both Jeno and Donghyuck look unconvinced at best, even though they only know a sliver of the truth.

There's this moment in movies when the main character makes some incredibly stupid decision that you just know is going to come back and bite them in the ass.

 _This,_ Jeno thinks, the vague feeling of dread hanging around him like a cloud. _This is my moment._

*

Stage one of the plan proves to be a failure.

The initial idea was that Jeno should try to visit the café more often. He even let Donghyuck unleash his makeup collection on him. With boundaries, of course. Jeno may or may not have had to extract a glitter palette out of Donghyuck’s death grip.

Preparation incidents aside, Jeno walks into the café on a Sunday, all dolled up, with his favorite shirt and a brand new pair of jeans he’d let Donghyuck pick out for him.

And there’s another guy behind the counter.

It’s too late to back out now - the café is not that big and mostly empty at this hour. The guy behind the counter is smiling at him and. Seriously. Do these people hire employees with a brightest-smile competition? It’s not nearly as blinding as Jaemin’s, of course, but if Jeno were a lesser man he would’ve probably be smitten right now.

"Hi there," Mr. Smiley greets, "what can I get you?"

Jeno’s eyes fall to his nametag. Jungwoo. At least he won’t be calling him stupid names in his head now. He figures he’s here now, so might as well get some practice in trying not to spit coffee right back out each time he tastes it? “An americano, please. Small?”

Jeno must make some sort of a face because Jungwoo tilts his head, somewhat suspicious. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Jeno downed a giant cup of hell liquid not even two days ago. He can totally deal with a small one.

Jungwoo shrugs then gets to make his coffee.

The drink Jeno ends up with is decidedly _not_ black coffee. In fact, Jeno wonders if it’s coffee at all.

When he looks up, Jungwoo just shrugs. “White chocolate mocha. I’ve worked with coffee for a long time now, I can tell when someone’s not really a coffee person. This is on the house, of course.”

Arguing about it is useless, judging by the look on Jungwoo's face. The mocha isn’t that bad, anyway. “Is it that obvious?” Jeno asks instead.

"Kinda," Jungwoo laughs. "I think it's adorable you're trying to branch out - or whatever you're doing, but going for black right off the bad may not the best idea. I don't want you swearing off coffee forever."

Little did he know, that ship has sailed long, long ago.

"It's not branching out exactly," Jeno says out loud because it's calm and quiet and Jungwoo makes him feel comfortable, for some reason. He must be great for business. "More like, I have an incentive?"

"Ah," Jungwoo's face lights up so bright, it's frankly a little concerning. "A noble reason. I'm sure your incentive wouldn't mind you're not a coffee person, though."

Jeno doesn’t meet his eyes. “I guess.” Logic would agree with Jungwoo because Jaemin is wonderful like that but. Still.

“Don’t get me wrong, I hope you keep up with your coffee quest,” Jungwoo says, matter-of-fact. “A regular with a face like yours would be great for business.”

Jeno doesn’t choke on his coffee, because that would’ve been sad. And messy. He manages to look up at Jungwoo with the appropriate level of suspicion, though. “I’m not sure if I should feel flattered or used, to be honest.”

“Flattered,” Jungwoo confirms, then pats Jeno’s cheek on his way to clear a table. “You’re adorable. Your incentive should be honored.”

Jeno takes it as his cue to leave. Not run away, definitely - just leave - but hey, at least he has a reason to come here more often now? Sort of?

The feeling of dread is thicker this time, settling under his skin. But hey, in the grand scheme of things, how bad can it be to try and woo your five-year crush with a fake interest in coffee? Not that bad, definitely. Plus, Jeno can always move to Canada or something, if things got too ugly. He’s pretty sure Donghyuck knows a guy who used to live there. He can totally help.

*

“I need a favor,” Jeno says the next time he meets up with Doyoung. He’s supposed to be helping him study for his Ecology and Environmental Science class. In all honesty, Jeno could probably manage himself except Doyoung is kind of really cool and also ridiculously fond of Jeno (not that he’d ever admit it), so Jeno enjoys their study sessions, probably more than he should.

“Of course you do,” Doyoung rolls his eyes. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“Not with that,” Jeno huffs, then plops on the chair across Doyoung. He hopes his face relays the appropriate level of seriousness because dear lord, is he serious about this. “I need you to teach me how to drink coffee.”

For all of the months Jeno has known Doyoung, he's never seen the guy speechless. And yet, right now Doyoung is just staring blankly at him. He doesn't even blink, it's kind of scary. "You want me to teach you how to drink coffee." He repeats like he hasn't heard Jeno the first time.

“Yes,” Jeno replies calmly. And then for good measure, “I want you to teach me how to drink coffee.”

Doyoung finally seems to accept the fact that he’s not hallucinating. “But you hate it?”

“Um,” Jeno is prepared for this. Doyoung won’t help him unless he presents a valid or at least a very convincing reasoning, so Jeno’s prepared. That doesn’t mean he likes it, though. “I kind of,” he says, in the cutest, most pathetic voice he can muster without seeming like he’s actively trying to. “I kind of like someone? Who likes coffee? I just want a reason to talk to him. Please?”

Jeno makes sure to add a bit of lip wobble in there for good measure. It works like a charm.

You see, Doyoung has this sort of… reputation around campus. He sometimes looks like someone who’d murder you in your sleep for wearing the wrong shade of green - Jeno’s ninety percent sure even his own friends are somewhat scared of him.

And yet, Kim Doyoung, the university’s resident overachiever and ice queen somehow developed a soft spot for Lee Jeno, resident nobody.

Doyoung’s eyes soften, and there’s even a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Jeno doesn’t fist-pump, because it would ruin the image but he _wants to_ because he _won._

*

_Meet me in that new café you robbed me of last time. We’re teaching you how to drink coffee._

Jeno reads the text a second, then a third time, desperately hoping the words would somehow rearrange. Or time? Anything that would mean he doesn’t have to learn to drink coffee in front of the person he’s learning to drink coffee for.

It’s useless to try and convince Doyoung to go somewhere else and not because it’s impossible. Doyoung may be weak to Jeno’s puppy eyes but he’s _smart_ and trying to keep him away from the same café would put him on alert in a heartbeat. From then on it'll just be a matter of time until he figures it out, along with the fact that the whole coffee thing is Jaemin's fault in the first place. Jeno's not entirely sure if and how Doyoung would use this information to ruin his life but he's not taking any chances.

The only possible course of action is to play along and pray to all the gods above Jaemin is not working today.

*

As it turns out, the gods are most definitely not on Jeno’s side.

Not only is Jaemin working today, but he's also working together with Jungwoo who lights up like a house on Christmas upon spotting Jeno skulking around the entrance.

So Jeno really has no choice. He goes in, even though there are at least fifteen minutes before Doyoung shows up. _This is the exact reason you came early in the first place,_ he tells himself sternly. He can get totally get the awkwardness over with before Doyoung comes and witnesses Jeno in all his panicked glory.

"Hey, Jeno!" Jaemin exclaims as soon as Jeno is within hearing range and, frankly, Jeno wants to die. It seems like a recurring theme around Jaemin. Jungwoo looks like he's about to greet Jeno too, but changes his mind at the last second. Now he's just looking between Jeno and Jaemin with increasing suspicion.

“Uh, hi,” Jeno mumbles in the end, quickly scanning the menu scribbled above Jaemin. Even though he knows what he’s ordering - he’s learned a few things since his last Jaemin encounter but the one familiar option still feels safest. Even if his stomach hates him for it already. “A large americano please.”

It’s like watching a trainwreck about to happen. The trainwreck, of course, being Jeno’s sanity.

Jungwoo’s eyes widen a fraction, going from Jeno to Jaemin and back. He raises his eyebrows for about half a second, and then his expression smooths into that calm, customer-friendly one once again. Jaemin, on the other hand, gets this pinched look, opens his mouth to ask something, maybe another _Are you sure?_ Except Jungwoo beats him to it.

“I’ll take care of it,” he says grandly, waving Jaemin off. “Go help your friend find a table.”

Jaemin looks like he’s about to protest but Jungwoo just shoves him away from the coffee machine, starting on the drink himself.

Jeno can only stare, helpless, as Jaemin gets out from behind the counter and leads him to a table towards the back. It’s not a big café, not at all, so “the back” is exactly two tables away from the counter. Jeno counts them twice.

“Sorry about that,” Jaemin laughs when they reach the table (and he pulls a chair for Jeno? Jeno’s heart just about gives out). “He’s not usually like that.”

Jeno glances at Jungwoo humming to himself as he putters around the huge coffee machine. He finds that very hard to believe, in all honesty. To Jaemin, however, he says, “Sure. I have a friend like that too.”

Except both Renjun and Donghyuck hit you with the sass right off the bat and the _not usually like that_ probably refers to them being normal, rational human beings. Maybe Doyoung? Doyoung can pass off for normal most of the times.

That or Jeno just nailed his second lie in his newfound almost-friendship with Jaemin. Way to go, Lee Jeno. Way to go.

“Don’t we all,” Jaemin sighs. And then he smiles again, and suddenly Jeno needs sunglasses. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you around here since that first time.” Jaemin's eyes narrow, then, like he's just witnessed something particularly unpleasant. “Have you found a new, prettier cafe?”

Jeno considers playing along but the clock ticks mercilessly, each second bringing him closer to the inevitable awkward silence. He can't seem to think of something fun, something that will make Jaemin laugh with him - or just bring back that breathtaking smile of his - it's just not working. So instead he says, “I've only been here once.”

Lie three can be argued probably. Jeno has been here only once with Jaemin around. But Jungwoo is giving him that knowing look from behind the coffee machine and no matter how many excuses Jeno thinks of, the end result is one and the same. This is, indeed, lie three.

*

Doyoung arrives just as Jungwoo brings Jeno his coffee. He doesn’t even call out Jeno’s name but then again, they both know Jeno would’ve most likely used that as an excuse to get away from Jaemin.

"Didn't realize you're the type to show early," Doyoung says instead of hello, looking between Jeno and Jaemin with a bemused expression.

Jungwoo, who's been somewhat frozen for the past ten seconds, jumps into action with a deceptively sweet smile. "I've heard our coffee is a great incentive," he says, placing a lidded cup in front of Jeno. He straightens up to look at Doyoung. The smile is at full force now and Jeno pauses in his internal screaming to witness the whole thing. "I haven't seen you around," Jungwoo says. There are fluttering eyelashes too, it's a little ridiculous. "Would you like me to walk you through our menu?"

Jeno is not sure what’s weirder - the blatant flirting or the fact that Doyoung _goes with it._

When they’re alone again, Jaemin lets out a quiet laugh. “I guess that might end up a reason to see you around more, at least.”

"Uh, yeah," Jeno says like the functional human being he's definitely not. He takes a sip of his coffee, preparing himself for the onslaught of bitterness, just to find… this is actually nice? His taste buds are assaulted by milk foam and what feels like a liter of hazelnut syrup. There's caffeine somewhere in there too, but it's barely noticeable under all the sweetness. It's great.

Jaemin is looking at him curiously when Jeno looks up. “What are you drinking?”

“Coffee?” Jeno squeaks. What did he even order? _You’ll need to be better at this not-losing-your-shit-in-front-of-Jaemin thing if you’re going to keep lying to him, Lee Jeno,_ he tells himself sternly. He doesn’t want to lie to Jaemin in the first place, really, but it’s a little too late for that now. Jaemin’s still looking at him expectantly, though. “Espresso…?”

Jaemin's laughing again but Jeno is way too mesmerized to be mortified about it. And then Jaemin goes ahead and utters the sentence that might just single-handedly ruin Jeno's life. Yet again. "You're cute."

The sole reason Jeno survives these two words is the fact that he has no idea how he'd explain the meltdown to Doyoung who's on his way to the table, Jungwoo and a cup of coffee in tow.

"So you're Jaemin, huh," Doyoung says, giving him a look Jeno definitely doesn't like.

"I am!" Jaemin smiles in return, ever so cheerful. Doyoung narrows his eyes. The bell above the café's front door jingles then, like a chorus of tiny metallic angels sent to save what’s left of Jeno’s fragile inner peace. And then, of course, a bunch of girls come in, giggling loud enough to ruin the illusion. Their eyes immediately land on Jeno's table, Jaemin specifically, like some sort of freakish radars. It doesn't look like they're even out of high school yet. "Ah," Jaemin sighs, turning back to Jeno with an apologetic expression. "Duty calls."

Jungwoo follows him begrudgingly, stealing glances back as Doyoung slides into the place Jaemin just vacated.

He gives Jeno a knowing look. "So, Jaemin, huh."

"Shut up," Jeno mutters, glaring at his coffee. Honestly, even if he didn't hate coffee before, after everything that it brought on on him - he definitely would've started to.

*

For all the drama involved, the coffee lessons end up on indefinite hiatus pretty quick which is, frankly, anticlimactic.

It’s not even on purpose. Classes choose this exact moment to collectively kick Jeno’s ass, which means his life turns into an endless circle of home-class-library for nearly a week. Everyone’s feeling the threat of exams approaching and Jeno promised himself he’s not going to be the dying-during-exam-week cliché but here he is. Dying.

This also means he barely has time to make himself presentable on a daily basis, let alone meet up with Doyoung and even less to play coffee slave for him.

It’s a Sunday afternoon and Jeno is, yet again, holed up in a corner of the library, his notes from Ecology and Environmental Science spread on the table in front of him. He regrets not doing this at home because _space,_ but the last time he'd studied there, his notes ended up all across the floor like a giant, ink-stained white sea. Donghyuck ended up threatening him with starvation if he had to keep being subjected to Jeno's pained yelps each time someone accidentally stepped on his notes. Which was _all the damn time._

Jeno’s in the midst of a very detailed and particularly whiny, self-deprecating _(internal)_ monologue when suddenly there’s a shadow looming over him. He barely stops himself from screaming out loud, but he does flail a bit, which sends some of his notes flying across the table and onto the floor.

When he looks up, Doyoung is frowning at him, not an ounce of apology in his features.

“Make some noise, what the hell,” Jeno whisper-shouts, attempting to collect his notes in some semblance of an order.

Doyoung just frowns harder. “How long have you been here?”

“Uh.” The thing is, Jeno is not actually sure. He remembers it was light outside when he came in and upon a glance out the window, there’s still daylight going on, even if it’s substantially less bright. “I’m not entirely sure?” At least it’s not night.

"That's it, you're taking a break," Doyoung says, voice brooking no argument. He packs most of Jeno's notes in a neat little stack before Jeno can even think about a valid argument. Very soon, he finds there's not a single fiber in his body that really wants to protest.

He may need that break, after all.

*

Jeno’s thinking about that argument a few hours later. He’s been since forced into a pair of jeans that are more holes than fabric and a hoodie that’s proving to be way too thick for the amount of breathing humans gathered in the dorm room of one of Doyoung’s friends. Donghyuck swore up and down he looks great, though, so at least he’s got that going for him. Hopefully.

A party was one hundred percent not what Jeno was thinking when Doyoung said _break,_ but then Doyoung had taken him home and left him to Donghyuck's mercy. Apparently, exam hell is just close enough that most students feel the need for a final fuck you before their textbooks eat them alive.

Which leads to right now: Jeno in socially acceptable clothes and actual makeup on, attempting not to bump into too many strangers in various levels of inebriation.

In theory, he'd come with both Doyoung and Donghyuck but neither of them is anywhere in sight. Donghyuck disappeared almost instantly, which isn't all that surprising. Jeno should've found suspicious that Doyoung of all people would decide to drag him to a party, though. He really should have. And yet, it wasn't until Jeno was almost instantly ditched for a dolled up Jungwoo that he decided he's been just used as an excuse. (He wonders if Jungwoo felt the need to bring a wingman too. There are so many people - it seems like the kind of setting Jaemin would fit in just great.)

Sure, deep down Doyoung probably didn't mean to and Jeno is pretty sure that he'd take him home if Jeno really wanted to. The thing is, though, that Jeno doesn't want to. It's a surprising realization. It would've been nice if he wasn't ditched by both his friends but beggars can't be choosers and all that.

Whatever, he thinks. Alone or not, alcohol is still around. He can totally forget about exam week and the disaster he’d made of his non-existent love life and, well Jaemin. Jeno’s doubtful even alcohol would help with that last one but hey, doesn’t hurt to try.

*

Honestly, Jeno has zero idea of how he ended up like this.

 _This_ being in some corner of the stupid dorm room, surrounded by people he barely knows, well past tipsy. But most importantly, with Na Jaemin staring at him incredulously.

“Are you drunk?” Jaemin asks carefully, even though they both can see the way Jeno sways for no good reason, drink sloshing around in his cup.

“No,” Jeno giggles. Maybe Jaemin is drunk too, or maybe Jeno is being more stealthy than he gives himself credit for. Jeno’s muddled brain decides it’s definitely the first one, which is what prompts him to follow up with another giggle. “I keep lying to you, Na Jaemin.”

“Oh really?” Jaemin asks absently, looping an arm around Jeno’s. He’s tugging him somewhere, and Jeno has a stray thought that he wouldn’t really mind being murdered by someone like Jaemin. Jaemin snorts. “If I wanted to murder you, I could’ve done that a long time ago. We went to high school together, remember?”

“Of course I remember you,” Jeno sighs, reaching for his cup to take another sip. This conversation feels like something that warrants one. But his hand is empty? He attempts to look back, but Jaemin’s hand is steady around his elbow, leading him through the crowd. Jeno sighs again. Why does Jaemin have to be so sweet? Jeno snuggles up around his arm instead. _Whatever,_ he decides. He’s drunk and can’t be held responsible for any dumb decision he might make tonight. It’s Jaemin’s fault for being all responsible instead of ditching him like Doyoung did.

They reach the front door soon enough, and the chill outside makes Jeno shiver. Jaemin extracts his hand from Jeno’s grip and if he were in his right mind, Jeno would be mortified most likely, but right now he just whines at the loss.

Jaemin laughs at him, wrapping his arms around Jeno’s shoulders instead.

It’s so domestic and sweet and Jaemin smells so nice, Jeno wants to tell him all his secrets. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since before I knew how fun kissing could be,” he mumbles into Jaemin’s hoodie, snuggling closer.

“That’s funny,” Jaemin says. Jeno can’t see it, but he’s absolutely sure he’s smiling.

Which, in turn, makes Jeno frown. “It’s not! Everyone wanted to kiss you in high school. But I still do. You’re so pretty,” he breathes, reaching to - trace Jaemin’s cheekbones maybe? But the angle is awkward and drunk Jeno’s aim is far from the best so he ends up resting his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder instead. “It’s like each time I look away you get prettier. And sweeter. It’s so annoying.”

“Tell me about it,” Jaemin sighs. “It’s a miracle what puberty does to some people.”

Jeno leans really close - it's not that hard, Jaemin's face is mere centimeters away as it is. "Are you talking about yourself?" And then, because filter is definitely a quality only sober people possess, "You're growing a pimple."

“Shut up,” Jaemin laughs, pushing his face away. His other hand is still wrapped around Jeno’s waist, though, so he can’t really go anywhere. Jeno leans his head on Jaemin’s shoulder instead.

“It’s cold,” Jeno mutters eventually. They’ve been outside for at least ten minutes now - Jeno’s sweaty skin is drying in what feels like little ice spikes needling his back and the stupid hoodie is doing nothing to stop it. Now that he’s away from the noise, the thought of going back to it feels just… wrong. “I wanna go home.”

“Of course you do,” Jaemin says, the hand around Jeno’s waist squeezing a tad bit tighter. “Let’s take you home then.”

*

Despite Jeno’s insistence he can totally get home by himself, Jaemin still walks him all the way back to his apartment. Which proves a great idea because Jeno trips on the stairs a total of three times. The apartment is on the second floor.

“I’m not entirely sure I trust to not to trip and fall asleep on the floor or something,” Jaemin says as he watches Jeno attempt to unlock his front door for the fifth time.

Jeno shrugs then fist-pumps the air when the door finally opens on the sixth try. "You can come in if you wanna."

He proceeds to trip on his own doorstep and faceplant into the living room.

“Oh yeah, definitely sending you to bed myself.” Jaemin sighs, exasperated. He helps Jeno up, then leads him to the couch to help him take off his shoes.

Jeno’s room is easy enough to locate, especially since Donghyuck’s door is covered almost entirely by stickers. Most of them are surprisingly creative variations of _Stay away, Lee Jeno._ So that helps.

Once they actually reach Jeno’s bed, though, Jeno refuses to let go.

Jaemin sighs again. “I can’t put you to bed if you don’t let me go.”

“But I don’t want to let you go,” Jeno whines, tugging at his shirt like a child. “Can’t you just spend the night? It’s cold and you’re warm and you look like someone who gives great cuddles.”

“I’m-” Jaemin starts, then rubs at his face with the hand not clutched in Jeno’s death grip. “I can’t spend the night here.” He says in the end.

“You can!” Jeno exclaims, then tugs Jaemin closer. “I just want to cuddle,” he finishes lamely.

“I know baby,” Jaemin smiles, carefully untangling Jeno’s arms from his body. “But not tonight, okay? We’ll cuddle later, I promise.”

Jeno keeps pouting but it doesn't seem to have the desired effect. Jaemin just runs his fingers through Jeno’s hair once he’s pulled the covers over him, then goes to turn the lights off and closes the door behind him.

In all honesty, Jeno doesn't want to sleep at all. Even like this, he knows, in some distant part of his mind, that tomorrow is going to be hell.

But what Jeno wants doesn't seem to be the theme tonight at all - he falls asleep mere seconds after the sound of his front door clicking shut reaches his ears.

*

The next morning is, indeed, hell.

Jeno wakes up with a splitting headache and a full set of memories because apparently, he can't even have that one little thing.

He just lays in bed for a while, letting the reality of all the things he did settle.

When Donghyuck opens his door who-knows-what-time later, he finds Jeno with his head smothered in a pillow, most definitely _not_ screaming in said pillow.

“What’s this that I’m hearing,” Donghyuck says casually, placing a mug of tea on Jeno’s nightstand. “That you went home with Na Jaemin last night?”

This time Jeno does scream into the pillow.

*

The worst part is, as Jeno soon learns, is that Donghyuck has heard because Jaemin apparently texted Jungwoo to tell Doyoung that he’s taking Jeno home. So his friends won’t worry. Because he’s a goddamn angel.

The most logical conclusion to this situation is, of course, for Jeno to spend the next week avoiding the café and Jaemin at all costs. Because he’s a reasonable, responsible adult. Yeah.

The faults in that plan become obvious pretty soon, though.

The main fault being this: Jeno sees Doyoung a few times during that week, and most of those few times he's talking about, talking to or simply with Jungwoo. Who keeps giving him these narrow-eyed, judgemental looks.

Donghyuck proves to be another fault as well because apparently Jeno spends all his time sulking now (not true) and Donghyuck, in turn, spends all his time complaining to Renjun. Loudly.

It’s day eight when Jeno decides he’s had enough.

He can’t avoid the café forever and he definitely can’t stand Donghyuck and Renjun’s combined power of annoyance a lot longer. And it’s not like Jaemin is a bad guy either - Jeno is pretty sure he wouldn't give him grief about the whole ordeal. At least not to his face.

So he puts his big boy pants on and sets off for the café. As fate would have it, Jaemin seems to be working today and Jungwoo is nowhere in sight. Fate, of course, has nothing to do with the work schedule Doyoung had wheedled out of Jungwoo on Jeno’s behalf. Nothing at all.

“Hey there,” Jeno mumbles, trying his best to not meet Jaemin’s eyes. “I, uh.”

“The usual?” Jaemin asks and when Jeno finally finds the courage to look up, he’s met with one of _those_ smiles.

He can't help but smile in return. “Yeah.”

Jeno watches as Jaemin makes his drink, not even worried about the drink from hell he’s about to consume. Jaemin is still smiling and like this, Jeno is sure he can drink all the americanos and cappuccinos and whatever other types of coffee there are.

The coffee thing was supposed to be one of his confessions today but hey, one last hell drink can’t hurt, right?

“I actually wanted to talk to you,” Jeno says when Jaemin hands him the drink.

Jaemin leans on the counter, the smile somewhat subdued now. “Talk then. I’m the only one on shift right now, I can't leave.”

Jungwoo not being there sounded a lot better in theory.

But Jeno’s here now, and Jaemin is looking at him, all expectant. He sighs. “I’m sorry about the party. I didn’t mean to tell you all that and I’m sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable.”

“So uncomfortable,” Jaemin shakes his head, eyes full of disappointment. “I think there’s something you can do to make it up to me, though.”

“Anything!” Jeno says on instinct, too fast. Stupid, useless brain-to-mouth filter and stupid, useless Jeno in the face of Na Jaemin.

Just like that, the disappointment is gone, Jaemin’s eyes twinkling with amusement instead. Frankly, Jeno feels a little played. Jaemin leans on his elbows again. “Tell me what you’ve lied to me about.”

Jeno blinks at him. That’s not too bad. “About being drunk.” It’s the latest lie, and one Jaemin is well aware of. Jeno knows it’s not going to be this easy. “About coming here only once. That time Jungwoo made us sit together? It was because I came here once before that and I accidentally told him about you. Sort of. Not your name, but...”

Jaemin hums in agreement. "That makes sense. I thought he's just trying to set me up. Anyway," he continues before Jeno can question the statement. "Are there more?"

“Uh,” Jeno mutters. Go big or go home. “I actually hate coffee.”

“Oh no,” Jaemin gasps. “That’s horrible. I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” When the only answer he gets is Jeno staring at him in mild horror, Jaemin finally drops the façade and just laughs. “Stop looking at me like that. You’re such an idiot.”

“Hey,” Jeno whines, although. His latest life choices don’t exactly support his argument.

He chooses to stay quiet which only makes Jaemin laugh harder. “Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook so easily, though. You’re buying me an apology dinner for this.”

“Okay,” Jeno agrees easily. His brain is going a mile a minute Apology dinner is a dinner still, and dinners are sometimes dates and -

“Your coffee is getting cold,” Jaemin points out.

Jeno cringes, the memory of that first coffee vivid in his mind. Right. He probably has to drink that. The initial bravado is nowhere to be seen in the face of an actual cup of coffee, what a surprise. “I, uh. I think I’ll drink it on my way home.”

“Oh,” Jaemin says, somewhat disappointed. Jeno isn’t falling for this one, though. That’s enough humiliation for one day.

He nods at Jaemin. “I’ll text you? About the d- uh. About the dinner.”

 _I’ll also try not to die in the meantime,_ he doesn't say. By the way, Jaemin's eyes are twinkling, though, he knows exactly which direction Jeno's thoughts are running in.

Jeno books it out of there while he’s got at least some of his dignity intact.

*

He’s almost home when he decides to face his demons. All of which are currently concentrated in a mostly cold paper cup. Jeno contemplates just dumping the entire thing in the nearest trash can - Jaemin can’t see him now. No one will have to know.

But Jeno will.

In the end, he just ducks into the tiny park near his apartment and finds himself a bench with a conveniently placed trash can nearby. He’ll just take a sip because it is his last coffee and it’s one Jaemin made. And then it all goes into the trash can. (In all fairness, Jeno does plan on trying to last longer than a sip. But he also knows himself. It’s just not something that happens without the overwhelming incentive of Na Jaemin’s presence.)

So Jeno slowly brings the cup to his lips in a vain attempt to delay the inevitable.

He takes a sip.

And then another.

The bitterness never comes.

“What the fuck,” he says aloud, startling an elderly couple that’s passing by. The lady gives him a dirty glare and Jeno shrinks on himself, cradling the cup to his chest.

When they’re a safe distance away, Jeno looks at the cup again. He opens it, sniffs it. Takes another sip.

The taste remains the same. Unless Jeno’s entire life so far has been a lie, that’s most definitely not coffee.

Jeno picks up his stuff, the cup of not-coffee included and marches right back the way he just came.

*

For better or for worse, when Jeno opens the door to the café this time, it’s Jungwoo behind the counter.

Jeno is undeterred, however. He slams the cup on the counter, right in front of Jungwoo’s somewhat bewildered stare. “Where is Jaemin?”

“Uh, in the back? He’s on a break.” He reaches for the cup, but Jeno snatches it right out of his grasp.

Jeno nods a thanks, then goes to where he’s seen both Jaemin and Jungwoo disappear before. It’s not like there are a lot of doors behind the counter anyway.

The back proves to be just a tiny, mostly empty room. It’s more like a big closet, really. There’s a fridge in one corner, a clothes stand next to it and two chairs pushed to the wall opposite. Jaemin is one of them, scrolling through his phone.

He looks up when the door opens and grins when he sees Jeno, clutching at his cup.

“This is hot chocolate,” Jeno states, pushing the cup in Jaemin’s face.

He has the audacity to _laugh._ “I know, I made it.”

Jeno considers throwing the remaining - now cold - hot chocolate on Jaemin’s baby blue apron. “You knew!” He accuses instead. The cup is soon abandoned on the second chair because if Jaemin keeps looking at him like that - well. Jeno can’t be held accountable.

“Babe, I could probably smell the hazelnut syrup in that latte from the next street over,” Jaemin laughs again. “And Jungwoo told me about the cute kid that visited the shop anyway. I’m not dumb.”

“I- then why-” Jeno tries before another, more pressing question comes to mind. _“Babe?”_

For the first time today, Jaemin actually seems sheepish. "Don't look at me like that," he says, then narrows his eyes. He jabs a finger in Jeno's chest and Jeno would be absolutely sure he's done something wrong if Jaemin wasn't _blushing._ “Like! I remember you from high school, obviously, we were in the same year. And you seemed sweet enough but then you show up not even a year later and you look like,” he flails a bit, motioning at Jeno’s general direction. “That. And you’re into me. I’m only human, Jeno.”

Jeno stares at him, dumbfounded. “You think I’m hot?”

Jaemin rubs at his temples, taking a deep breath before he meets Jeno’s eyes again. “Yes,” he says slowly. “I think you’re hot. I also wouldn’t mind going out with you. And making out. That would be cool, too. Is that clear enough for you?”

"Uh, yeah," Jeno mutters, brain still stuck on the fact that the words _making out_ left Jaemin’s lips.

“Great,” Jaemin grins, patting Jeno’s shoulder. “Now, I’m pretty sure my break was over at least five minutes ago and the only reason Jungwoo isn’t barging in to drag me outside is that he’s listening in. Right Jungwoo?” The last words are louder, aimed at the door and Jeno dies a little when he hears the resulting _thump_ outside. Oops. “Anyway,” Jaemin continues, eyes back on Jeno. “My shift is over in about an hour. You can go home and think about that dinner you owe me or,” he pauses, eyes glinting in a way Jeno is not entirely sure he appreciates. “I can make you another hot chocolate and you can just wait for me. Then we can discuss this further someplace else.”

Jeno’s brain short-circuits, yet again. “I mean,” he tries, hoping he doesn’t sound as breathless as he feels. “You make great hot chocolate?”

"I do!" Jaemin beams and Jeno blinks against it. _Damn,_ his traitorous brain supplies. Jeno’s definitely not going to survive seeing The Smile up close on the regular.

But those are worries for later. Now, Jeno has a hot chocolate to get to, one that’s actually not cold yet.

*

Later, as it turns out, comes way too soon.

“Is this okay?” Jaemin asks, leaning in. Jeno can feel his exhales on his own lips and this whole day has been so surreal - he blinks a few times, just in case this turns out to be another daydream.

Jaemin laughs, hand slowly moving from Jeno’s wrist to his neck, then to his cheek. He traces Jeno’s cheekbone and he’s so, so close, Jeno fears this might really be just a dream, a fantasy he’d wake up from if he so much as breathes in the wrong way.

So Jeno just nods and gets to watch a smile bloom on Jaemin's face. It's not nearly as blinding as the one Jeno can't get out of his mind, but he can't stop looking at it anyway. It's like his entire soul is being submerged in hot chocolate, the best kind. This close, with Jaemin, slowly closing the distance between them, Jeno thinks he might actually be in love this time.

Of course, Jeno has imagined this happening a million times before. Mostly in the safety of his own room, but sometimes in broad daylight, with Jaemin right in front of him, where it’s so easy to imagine how his arms would feel against Jeno’s sides, how his lips would catch on Jeno’s own because all that coffee has probably drained all the hydration out of his body -

But nothing, nothing compares to now.

“Oh my god,” someone screams and Jeno has never hated the entire goddamn universe more than this very moment.

It’s Jaemin that looks up, then laughs. “Hi! Lee Donghyuck, right?”

"Yes." Donghyuck deadpans. Jeno can visualize the judgment on his face so easily, even though he _really doesn’t want to._ "Here's what we're gonna do," Donghyuck says slowly like he's talking to a child. Which is ridiculous, given the situation. "I'm going to go right back out that door and I'm gonna take a walk in the hallway. When I come back, you two will be in Jeno's room, where I can't see you and we'll pretend this never happened. Understood?"

Jaemin opens his mouth to reply but Jeno can see the challenge in his eyes. And that’s just- no.

“Got it,” he says instead, squeezing his eyes in hopes that the ground might open up and swallow him right about now. Or something. “Please, just go away.”

The door slams shut almost immediately.

“But-” Jaemin starts to protest, cut off by Jeno all but kicking him off the couch.

“No buts,” he states. “Either we’re making out somewhere where I can pretend these past few minutes of my life never happened or we’re not making out at all.”

Jaemin pouts. Then pouts some more. Jeno is about to crumble when the door handle turns, and their front door opens again. Jeno’s met with Donghyuck’s death glare and really, no amount of pouting is enough to make Jeno face that. Even from Na Jaemin.

He makes sure to turn the lock on his door after they close it behind them. Just in case.

Despite the stubbornness, though, Jaemin proves a great distraction to the thought of Donghyuck existing just a thin wall apart and that - Jeno can definitely live with that.

 


End file.
